You Can't Rescue Me
by dolcegrazia
Summary: She hides behind a mask of makeup and smiles, but inside she's not at all the person you think she is.
1. I Will Follow You Into the Dark

**You Can't Rescue Me**

Author's Note: Alright, I know I have about 5 unfinished stories on this site, but I can never resist writing another one! I've been toying with this subject for a while, and I hope I can do it justice. Y'all might notice that I like Brooke a lot. She's like, the main character in all of my stories. Oh, and let me know if you think this needs a warning. It can be triggering, so please let me know.

Oh, and some of the parts are narrated by Brooke and the other parts are third-person dialogue. In subsequent chapters, I'm not planning on having any narrative by Brooke. It will all be third-person.

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_Everybody thinks they know me. Like I'm a children's book that's so easy to read. I'm usually not one for clichés, but stop judging a book by its cover. I've heard it all. Every vile name you can call someone, I've been called it. And to your face, I'll laugh it off but it does bother me. Sure, maybe I am a slut, but what is wrong with that? There are reasons why I sometimes sleep around. I crave attention. I don't get it from my family or my friends. I only get it from the guys I have sex with. I may be a bitch, but that's because I can't let people into my heart and the only way I can keep people out is to be mean to them. I'm not a terrible person. I'm hurting. And I deal with my hurt in ways that people feel justified to judge._

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Brooke Davis was studying in her bedroom, as her roommate Rachel enters, laughing.

Brooke picks up her head, "What the hell is so funny?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you study."

Brooke slaps her notebook shut, "it's a distraction", and she shrugs.

"Since when have you used studying as a distraction? What happened to booze?"

"Rachel, it's Tuesday and it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon."

"And…?"

"And I can't afford to get drunk in the middle of the week."

"Since when?" Rachel asks as she grabs a lip gloss from her vanity table and begins to apply the gloss to her lips.

"Since I'm trying to control all of my vices."

"Hmm…a noble goal", Rachel puts the lip gloss back in its tube and smacks her lips together, "Good luck with that."

"Thanks", Brooke snickers and reopens her notebook.

Rachel sits on her own bed, facing Brooke, "How many vices do you have anyway?"

Brooke keeps her head down as she answers, "It's none of your business."

"Ooo, I hit a nerve. Remember, Brookie. We live together. You can't hide things from me for very long."

Rachel gets up off the bed and heads out the door. Brooke stares at the door for a few beats and then grunts as she shuts the notebook and lies back on the bed.

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_Sometimes I drink. Well, I drink a lot. I've been drinking since I was 14, and first realized that alcohol makes you forget your problems. Of course, you just end up with a hangover and a list of possible bad things that could have happened while you were wasted. But that part doesn't bother me. All I care about is that moment in time when all of my pain is gone and I'm having a good time with my friends._

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It is a Friday night and the Ravens have just won another basketball game. The party was being held at Rachel's house and the house was overflowing with alcohol. Brooke sat in a corner, talking with Haley, as she downed cup after cup of jungle juice.

"Brooke…?" Haley asks as Brooke suddenly stops talk after rambling all night.

"Mhmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm going to go upstairs, okay?" Brooke closes her eyes slowly and begins to stand up.

"Yeah, I'll go find Nathan. You go sleep it off."

"That's my plan…"

"Okay. Yell if you need me."

Brooke smiles goofily, "I will", as she walks towards the staircase and heads upstairs. She pushes people out of her way until finally getting to her and Rachel's bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She closes her eyes and slinks to the bathroom.

She turns the faucet on to cold and splashes water on her face, trying to relieve the "spins". She sits Indian-style on the cold tile floor as the seconds tick by like hours.

Ten minutes later, after guzzling handful after handful of water, Brooke slowly stands up and walks towards the toilet. She leans down, sticks her pointer and middle fingers of her right hand down her throat, violently throwing up the blood red jungle juice she'd downed earlier in the night.

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I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please let me know what you think about this story by reviewing it. I would appreciate it so much. And check out my other stories, too! I'll be updating them all soon. Oh, FYI- for those who don't know, jungle juice is basically punch with alcohol in it.


	2. What Sarah Said

**You Can't Rescue Me**

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Italics are Brooke's point of view. Also, some parts of this might be "gross" and it might be triggering, so you're forewarned.

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_So yes, Brooke Davis is bulimic. And nobody knows about it but me. I can't imagine what my friends would say if they found out. It's something I've been able to hide really well. It's my most intense vice. I've been throwing up since I was 14, when I started drinking. It's such a release. I know it's bad, yadda yadda yadda, but it's who I am. It's what I do. It's all I know._

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"_Love is watching someone die…"_

Brooke awoke after sleeping for nearly 12 hours, having no idea how she got from the bathroom to her bed. She sat up very slowly and opens her eyes to find Rachel studying her disheveled roommate.

"What?" Brooke asks, groggily.

"You're gross, you know that?"

"Huh?" Brooke asks, confused, as she gets out of bed and walks to her nightstand to get out some aspirin.

"There's puke in your hair", Rachel points out matter-of-factly.

Brooke stops in her tracks and turns to face Rachel, "I got sick last night. I drank too much. I must've forgotten to hold my hair back", she shrugs.

Rachel seems to believe her, "Whatever. Just shower because your puke is making me want to puke."

Brooke smiles a crooked, nervous smile and walks to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

She stares at herself in the mirror, "Fuck! You've got to stop purging when you're drunk", Brooke mumbles. She begins to strip down, turning the handle on the shower, staring at the nicks and bite marks on the knuckles of her right hand.

Brooke steps into the shower slowly, still dizzy with a hangover. She lets the steaming hot water nearly scald her skin. She begins violently scrubbing her skin, cursing herself and hating her body. Brooke lets the water cascade over her body, and then turns the faucet to cold. She leans over, shoving her fingers down her throat, and throws up a painful mixture of punch, water, and bile. Washing the bathtub clean, Brooke continues her shower, completely disgusted with herself.

Brooke towels herself dry, and then steps back into her bedroom to find Rachel still sitting in the same place where she had been sitting before.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asks.

"What makes you think I'm not?" Brooke snaps back, slightly offended.

"It's not like New Brooke to get fall-down, throw up drunk."

"I know. But isn't it okay to have fun?"

"Of course. But did you have fun last night?"

"Ugh, no."

"What's going on?" Rachel pats the spot on the bed next to her. Brooke laughs and sits down.

"Lucas and Peyton are making me sick", admits Brooke.

"I thought you were okay with it."

"Ha. I might be New Brooke, but I'm not Pod Brooke."

"Are you still in love with him?" Rachel asks.

"He's the first guy I ever loved. He can be an asshole, but I guess I'll always love him."

"At least you can admit it."

Brooke sighs, "Right, sure. I'm just going to get dressed. Want to go shopping today?"

"Definitely", Rachel smiles and leaves the room so Brooke can change and get ready for their day at the mall.

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Brooke and Rachel, especially as a team, can command all attention from a room. This was definitely true somewhere like the mall where men and boys oogled and girls sighed in jealousy. The mall was Brooke and Rachel's favorite place, especially to blow off steam.

"I know", Rachel states out of the blue.

"What? You know what?"

"I know why there was vomit in your hair this morning."

"I told you. I got too drunk last night."

"Maybe, but that's not the reason you threw up."

"Mind your own g-ddamned business, Rachel."

"Fine, but I'm here if you need to talk", Rachel genuinely offers.

"Whatever. Let's just leave."

"What? Brooke, why?"

"Because I don't want to deal with you anymore", Brooke starts walk fast towards the exit.

"What the hell did I do?" Rachel walks faster to try to catch up to Brooke.

Brooke stops abruptly and looks Rachel in the eye, "You think you know everything about me. Why I do what I do. But you don't, so leave me alone."

"Brooke."

"What?" Brooke responds angrily.

"I used to do it, too."

"Do what?"

"Purge."

"Right, like I would believe you."

"I was fat as a kid, I know that. But when I got to middle school, I started to lose weight. I started puking when I was 14."

"Me too", Brooke mumbles under her breath.

"What?"

"I said, 'me too'. I was 14 when this all started, too."

"Oh, so you admit it."

"You had me pinned against a wall, what else was I supposed to do?"

"I didn't mean to pressure you, Brooke. But admitting it is the first step to getting better."

"I'm not going to get better, Rachel."

"Why the hell not?"

"Come on, I'm going home", Brooke begins walking towards the exit again.

"You've got to stop running away", Rachel calls after her.

"Ugh, shut up!" Brooke calls back without looking behind her, and both girls leave the mall in a huff.

"…_so, who's going to watch you die?"_

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Leave review and let me know what you think. It's a bit weak, but I do intend for it to get better.

Lyrics and chapter title belong to Death Cab for Cutie, as does the chapter title for Chapter 1.


	3. I Will Keep the Bad Things From You

**Author's Note:** Alright, I really suck at updating. I sincerely apologize for that. But now it's 12AM and I've finally finished a chapter, and I'm sipping good wine and listening to good music, and I couldn't resist updating. So, here goes chapter 3.

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That Monday, Brooke arrives to school early having been avoiding Rachel the entire weekend. Rachel got the point and stopped pestering Brooke by Saturday night. Brooke continued to be in a sucky mood and there seemed like no end in sight.

"Brooke!" Haley called down the hallway to the brunette.

Brooke stops and turns around, smiling shyly at one of her best friends, "Hey Haley."

"What's up? You've seemed distant for days."

"I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Okay…if you're sure", Haley trails off as Brooke nods.

"I am sure, I promise you", Brooke smiles a fake smile and puts her arm through Haley's as they walk down the hall.

"What happened after I left the party on Friday?" Haley asks.

"Nothing big. I went upstairs and passed out. Lots of fun, I'll tell you that."

Haley laughs, "You've got to stop getting wasted."

"Don't I know it!" Brooke smiles.

Brooke and Haley walk in to their first period classroom and wait for class to begin.

By lunchtime, Brooke has loosened up considerably and even sits with Rachel to eat lunch together. As Brooke sits down next to her, Rachel looks surprised and then happy.

"Hey", Rachel says as she greets her roommate.

"Hi."

"What's up?"

"Listen, I'm sorry", Brooke says, with a lot of sincerity in her voice.

"For what?" Rachel asks.

"For what I said to you at the mall. And for ignoring you all weekend."

"It's okay, Brooke."

"No, it isn't. I shouldn't be such a bitch."

"No, you shouldn't", Rachel smiles. Brooke smiles back and lightly slaps Rachel's arm.

"Gee, thanks."

"We don't have to talk about that stuff if you don't want to."

"Not right now. I really just don't want people finding out. And you, well, you have a huge mouth."

Rachel shakes her head, "This is not something I'm going to blab, I promise."

"Alright, I believe you. I guess."

"Good…and you know, you can talk to me whenever. Day or night."

"Thanks, Rach. Well, I'm going to head out."

"But you barely ate…" Rachel remarks as Brooke stands up and grabs her bag.

Brooke smiles slyly, "It's better than throwing it up, right?"

Rachel smiles nervously and Brooke heads out of the cafeteria.

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The period after lunch was US History II for much of the gang, including Rachel and Brooke. Fifteen minutes into class, Brooke raises her hand.

"Yes, Miss Davis?"

"Can I use the restroom?" Brooke asks.

"Yes, you may."

Brooke nods as if to say thanks, and then quietly slips out of the room. The teacher gets back to her lecture on the Cold War while Rachel grabs her bag and leaves the room without attracting attention.

Brooke heads up a few flights of stairs to a rarely used bathroom, unaware that Rachel is just a few paces behind her. Brooke enters the bathroom and heads to the stall farthest from the door. After spending ten minutes heaving, Brooke wipes her mouth with a piece of toilet paper and flushes the toilet with her foot. She opens the stall door to find Rachel leaning on one of the walls.

"Fuck!" Brooke exclaims softly under her breath.

"You suck at this stealth thing", Rachel announces blankly.

"Um, no. You just can't seem to mind your own business", Brooke curtly replies.

"It is my business."

"How the _fuck_ do you figure?!" Brooke asks as she walks to the sink to wash her hands.

Rachel walks behind Brooke to face the brunette in the mirror, "Because you're my friend and I care about you. Is that so hard to believe?"

Brooke turns around and lets out an ironic chuckle, "Frankly, yes. It is that hard to believe. Now, leave me alone", Brooke says as she walks out of the bathroom, leaving behind a discouraged Rachel.

At the end of the school day, Haley meets up with Brooke at Brooke's locker.

"Hey, are you okay?" Haley asks.

"Yeah, I'm great…"

"Because you left class really quickly before and you didn't come back for 15 minutes. And when I asked Rachel…"

Brooke interrupts, "You asked Rachel? Since when do you talk to her?"

Haley continues, "When I asked Rachel, she said you've been having a rough time. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Haley", Brooke states sternly, "I'm fine."

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Please review, darlings! Merci!


	4. The Approaching Curve

**Author's Note**: Thanks for the reviews, guys. I feel like the story got lost somewhere in I can't find it anywhere. **Freddie: **I wouldn't dare go that route, and wrap up the eating disorder so quickly. Eating disorders don't disappear in the span of 90 minutes like all those Lifetime movies. I know this from experience.

Last chapter's title is a song by The Damnwells.

This chapter's title is a song by Rise Against, as are the lyrics at the end.

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"Lucas, we need to talk", Rachel states as she walks up to Lucas just before basketball and cheerleading practices were about to start.

"Okay. Now?"

"Yeah."

"What's going on?" Lucas asks suspiciously.

"You need to talk to Brooke", Rachel says matter-of-factly.

"Why?"

"Because she's in bad shape."

Just as Lucas is about to respond, Brooke enters the gym, quickly spots Rachel and Lucas talking, and storms towards the pair angrily.

"Rachel!" Brooke shouts.

"What?"

"Stop talking."

"Brooke, what's going on?" Lucas asks.

"Nothing. Rachel just needs to shut her friend-betraying mouth."

"Brooke", Rachel insists.

"Rachel!" Brooke yells forcefully again.

"I'm gonna go…" Luke says slowly as he begins to walk away.

"Good, you do that", Brooke says meanly.

As he walks away, Brooke turns to glare at Rachel, "What the hell is your problem?" Brooke asks the redhead.

"You need help, Brooke."

"Right. Your new obsession. Helping me."

"So what?"

"How the hell would Lucas help me?"

"Maybe he could talk some sense into you."

"I doubt it, dollface. I don't need your help."

"Right. You need a professional's help."

"Just let it go, okay? It's not a big deal."

"Maybe not now. But don't come crying to me when your heart starts to give out", Rachel rudely states as she walks away, leaving Brooke shocked by her comment.

Brooke sighs and turns around, walking up to Lucas, "Hey", she calls out to the blond basketball player.

"Hey Brooke, what was that about?" Lucas asks.

"It's nothing. Rachel is so overdramatic sometimes."

"I know somebody like that…" Lucas jokes, alluding to the brunette in front of him.

"I'm nothing like her, thankyouverymuch."

"Alright, alright. Listen, I've got to get to practice. You know you can talk to me anytime, right?"

Brooke nods, "I know", she says quietly.

"Okay…bye", Lucas says as he walks to a group of his teammates.

Brooke rolls her eyes and walks to the bleachers where all the cheerleaders are. She sits down next to Rachel, "I could kill you right now", Brooke says without looking at the redhead.

Rachel turns to face Brooke, "But you're too busy killing yourself."

Brooke smiles and chuckles, "Oh snap. Good one."

Rachel stands up to leave, but Brooke calls out to her, "Wait!" Rachel turns and walks to the brunette.

"What?" Rachel asks.

Brooke shrugs, "We're all dying a little bit each day, aren't we? So what if I'm dying a little faster than everyone else?"

"So what? Seriously?! So a lot. You sign your death wish every time you stick those manicured fingers down your throat", Rachel retorts quietly, but angrily.

"My fingers. My body. My choice", Brooke responds, emotionless.

"Fine", Rachel gives in and walks away, joining Bevin and a few other girls at the top of the bleachers.

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After practice, Brooke does her best to avoid Rachel (again!), so she heads to Haley and Nathan's apartment.

Brooke knocks on the door and Haley answers, "I'm sorry", Brooke says.

"For what?"

"I've been distant for the past few weeks. All wrapped up in myself, as usual. I've been a terrible friend."

"Come in", Haley says quietly as Brooke enters the apartment. Brooke doesn't go any further than the foyer and she nervously plays with her fingers.

"What's going on with you, Brooke?" Haley asks, "Anything that ice cream can fix?" Haley offers as she walks into the kitchen.

Brooke laughs a genuine laugh, "Actually, that's part of the problem."

"Huh?"

"Nothing…nothing. Do you forgive me for being a bad friend lately?"

"You haven't been a bad friend, Brooke. I've been concerned about you, actually."

"Please, don't be. I'll be fine."

"You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?" Haley asks, walking back towards Brooke.

"Of…of course I would", Brooke says hesitantly. All of a sudden, Brooke begins to feel nauseous. She grabs the kitchen island as dizziness begins to overtake her, "Shit…", she mutters.

"Brooke? Are you okay?"

The dizziness goes away almost as soon as it hits her and Brooke walks to the couch to sit.

Haley follows quickly behind her best friend, and sits next to her on the couch, "You want to finally tell me what's going on?"

_Our cracking voices became part of the music.  
The car pressed on faster through the night. _

_As our voices lowered,  
The cadence again overtook the air.  
Up ahead there was a curve approaching.  
She made no indications of slowing._

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Please review. Merci!


	5. Everything's Just Wonderful

**Author's Note:** Here's another chapter. It's not very good, because I just wanted to get another chapter out to you, but bear with me. Review and let me know what you think. Again, it might be triggering. Read at your own risk.

Flashbacks/dreams are in Italics. The first bit is also in Italics, but that's just what happened at the end of the last chapter.

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"_You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?" Haley asks, while walking back towards Brooke._

"_Of…of course I would", Brooke says hesitantly. All of a sudden, Brooke begins to feel nauseous. She grabs the kitchen island as dizziness begins to overtake her, "Shit…" she mutters._

"_Brooke? Are you okay?"_

_The dizziness goes away almost as soon as it hits her and Brooke walks to the couch to sit._

_Haley follows quickly behind her best friend, "You want to finally tell me what's going on?"_

"I'm bulimic."

"What?!"  
Brooke speaks louder, "I'm bulimic…"

"Wow…"

"Didn't see that one coming , huh?"

"I guess not. Man, I suck."

"Uh, no. You don't suck. Where'd that come from?"

"I'm a terrible friend. Why didn't I notice this before?"

"Haley. Nobody's noticed."

"Are you getting help now?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Haley…I'm just not and we're leaving it at that", Brooke gets up and scrambles to the door, "I've gotta go."

Haley stands up defiantly, "No."

"Excuse me?"

"You almost just passed out. You can't drive."

"Then I'll walk."

"Brooke, no. Come on. What is going on?"

Brooke walks back to face Haley and tears well up in her eyes, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

'Because it's scary."

"What's scary?"

"Everything. I'm scared about my health…"

"Then stop."  
"It's not that easy."

"Since when has Brooke Davis not been up for a challenge?"

Brooke cracks a smile, "But this is different."

"Why?" Haley is quick to ask.

"It just is. I'm not ready."

"But you need to be ready."

"Need is a four letter word."

"How often are you throwing up?"

Brooke takes a deep breath, "Twice a…"

Haley interrupts her, "a week?!"

"No. A day."

"Crap."

"I know."

"You should see someone."

"I don't think so."

Haley sighs, "You can't keep going like this."  
"I know."

"If you don't go to the school counselor, I will."

"You're going to tell on me?"

"Yes."

"Haley…please don't."

"Then you go."

"Fine," Brooke mutters, "Can I go home now?"

"If you think you can drive. Want some Gatorade?"

"No…thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm proud of you, Brooke."

Brooke chuckles, "Why?"

"You admitted that you have a problem. You were honest with me."

"Okay, thanks. I guess."

"Call me if you need me."

"I will…" Brooke hesitates and then puts her hand up as if to wave to Haley, then walks out the door. She walks to her car, sits behind the wheel and starts to cry. She bangs her fist against the steering wheel, and once she's calmed down a bit, she starts up the car and heads back to Rachel's house.

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_A young teenage Brooke sits at her kitchen table, dangling her legs in the air, as her feet don't reach the floor. Mr. and Mrs. Davis are arguing in the front room, yet again. As a response to her parents' constant bickering, Brooke has begun gorging herself. She reaches for the bread, putting it in the toaster and while the bread toasts, Brooke grabs cookies, starting off slow but by the time the bread is toasted, Brooke has a mouthful of Oreos. She grabs the bread out of the toaster, buttering it then shoveling it into her mouth. When she finishes, she takes a huge deep breath and puts her hand on her stomach. The pretty young girl walks to her bathroom. She closes and locks the door. She walks to the toilet and hunches over in pain. Her stomach is so full that she tries to throw up. When nothing happens, Brooke decides to "help it along" by sticking two fingers into her mouth. She quickly begins to cough, so she sticks her fingers deeper into her throat until partially digested food begins to escape her throat and enter the toilet bowl. After a couple of minutes, Brooke stands up, relieved of all stomach pain. She looks in the mirror and smiles a sly smile._

As a result of her intense flashback, Brooke awakes from her nap with a jolt.

Rachel, who had been playing around on her laptop, looks up when Brooke jumps up, "What the hell?" Rachel exclaims.

"Bad dream", Brooke explains matter-of-factly.

"What are you, five?"

"I'm in a very bad mood."

"I know. Do you want to talk about it?"

Brooke glares at her roommate, "I went to see Haley. And I told her…and now she says that if I don't go tell the guidance counselor, she will."

"Good."

"Why good?"

"Because you need help. Just go. Get it over with. Just talk to the counselor."

"I don't know if I'm ready."

"Ready to what?"

"To get better."

"Brooke", Rachel shuffles on her bed to face her brunette friend, "Can you tell me why you're holding onto this? What good is it doing you?"

"It's not doing me any good. But it's something I know. Something that's familiar."

"We can find you a new hobby. We can give you something else that can become familiar. Something that isn't _killing_ you."

Brooke chuckles.

Rachel is taken aback, "That wasn't meant to be funny."

"I know. I'm just surprised by you, that's all. I never thought we'd be friends. That you'd actually care about me."

"People can change, Brooke. You told me that once."

"I'm not going to get better right away."

Rachel nods, "I know. As long as you try."

"It might be hard…"

"It'll definitely be hard but you're stronger than this."

Brooke smiles shyly.

Rachel continues, "So, you're going to go see the counselor?"

Brooke shrugs, "Sure."

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The chapter title is a song by Lily Allen.


	6. How We Operate

**You Can't Rescue Me**

Chapter 6

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"Well, Brooke Davis…I never see you in this office."

It is the next day and Brooke has willingly entered the office of the school psychologist, Mr. Pontone.

Brooke squirms in her seat, "I've got too much pride."

"What brings you here today of all days?"

"My friends have threatened to talk to you if I didn't, and we're not six anymore, so I'm biting the bullet."

"Okay…"

"I've got a little problem. Well, I guess you might think it's a big problem."

"I'm listening."

Brooke bites her lip, "I think I'm bulimic."

"You think?"

"No, I'm sure…I'm bulimic."

"Step one is admitting it."

"That's what my friends have told me."

Mr. Pontone leans onto his desk with his hands clasped in front of him, "How long has this been going on?"

"Since I was 14."

"A long time, then."

Brooke nods, "Too long."

"Do you know why you started?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you want to tell me?"

"My parents were fighting all of the time. So, I started drinking. And then I started bingeing, and then I started purging."

"Do they still fight?"

Brooke shrugs, "I wouldn't know. They moved to California last year. I'm sure they still fight. But they refuse to get divorced. See where I get my pride?"

Mr. Pontone smiles a reassuring smile, "I'm sorry to ask so many questions, but it's standard for me to get a little history about the situation."

"It's okay."

"How often are you bingeing and purging?"

"Um, usually about twice a day. Sometimes less…"

"Ever more than twice a day?"

"Sometimes…very rarely. Only if something happens to set me off."

"Okay. So, you need some new coping mechanisms."

Brooke chuckles, "Yes, I do."

"I know. I'm stating the obvious."

"No, it's okay", Brooke pauses, "How do I find new coping mechanisms?"

"Well, that's what we'll spend our time working on. Are you free at this time every week?"

"Yeah, this is my study hall", Brooke nods as she responds.

"Alright, so you'll come and see me every Tuesday at 11. Does that sound good?"

"Perfect", Brooke smiles half-heartedly and stands up.

"I'm really glad that you came to see me", Mr. Pontone says.

"It was my pleasure", Brooke says sarcastically.

Mr. Pontone senses her sarcasm and chuckles, "Can I give you an assignment?" he asks Brooke before she turns to leave.

"Seriously? I didn't know there was homework involved."

"It's not homework. It's a goal."

"Okay…?"

"Cut your bingeing and purging to just once a day. Do you think you can do that?"

Brooke shrugs, "I can try."

"Good. I'll be anxious to hear how you did."

"Me too", Brooke says slowly.

"Have a good week."

"You too", Brooke smiles and walks out of the office.

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Because it is still her study hall, Brooke walks out of the school and sits against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest. She pulls out her cell phone and text messages Rachel: _that sucked_. She rests her head on her knees, taking deep breaths while she waits for Rachel's response. Brooke's cell phone beeps just a moment later with Rachel's response: _it beats death_. Brooke scoffs and goes to stand up to head back into the school. The bell rings and Brooke is swept into a rush of students heading to their next class, or like Brooke- heading to lunch.

Rachel sneaks up behind Brooke, causing the brunette to jump, "Hello there, jumpy."

"Hey Rach. Nice text."

"You're welcome. So, tell me how it went."

"He was nice. Just asked a lot of questions."

"Did you tell him the truth?" Rachel asks suspiciously.

"Yes!"

"Okay, good."

"Why would I lie?"

"Why wouldn't you lie? Come on, Brooke. You don't want to get better."

"How do you know?"

"Because you get pissed at me every time we talk about it. You've never told me that you wanted to stop purging."

"I do. I just don't think I'll be able to."

"That's what therapy will help you with!"

"Right."

The pair walk into the cafeteria and head for the line, grabbing salads and waters. They head to a table without speaking and sit down, still quiet.

Rachel breaks the silence, "No one can save you but you."

Brooke is startled by this, "I know."

"I can't force you to get better. I want to. But it doesn't work that way."

"I know."

"Okay."

Brooke nods and nervously begins picking at her salad.

Rachel notices Brooke's discomfort, "You'll be fine."

"I'm not sure I believe that", Brooke admits.

"It takes time."

"Yeah, I know. Alright, let's talk about something else besides me being an idiot."

"But that's so much fun!"

Brooke playfully hits Rachel, "Ha ha."

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Please review!! Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. There will be some strange drama next chapter! Be on the look-out.

The chapter title is a song by Gomez.


	7. You're Making It Come Alive

**You Can't Rescue Me**

Chapter 7

A/N: I don't own anything. And this chapter might be a little graphic.

The chapter title is a song by My Favorite Highway.

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Later that night, Brooke and Rachel are standing at the kitchen island eating dinner. They are finishing up and Brooke is clearly antsy, and Rachel notices.

"Brooke…"

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Brooke backs up, "I have to…"

Rachel walks closer to Brooke, "No, you do not have to."

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry", Brooke walks away, heading to the bathroom.

Rachel is left alone in the kitchen, upset. She crosses her arms over her chest and follows Brooke to the bathroom.

"I'm not going to tell you to stop", Rachel says to the closed bathroom door.

"Good", Brooke calls out in response and continues throwing up.

"Does it gross you out that I'm standing out here?" Rachel asks.

"No, I don't care. Does it gross you out?"

"Nah", Rachel grabs the doorknob and opens the door.

Brooke is standing over the toilet with her fingers down her throat, but takes her fingers out of her mouth when Rachel walks in, "What the hell?"

"Does it bother you that I'm standing right here?"

Brooke stands up straight and walks to the sink to wash her hands, "I always knew you had balls."

"You do, too. Puking right in front of me."

"You're the one who walked in. I don't care if you watch. You're a little creepy if watching other people puke gets you off."

"You're hilarious, you know that?"

Brooke smiles, "Oh, I know."

"I want to get you to stop and if standing outside the bathroom while you purge gets you to stop, then good."

"What happened to 'the only person who can save you is you' speech you gave me earlier?" Brooke counters.

"That was bullshit. You need to toughen up and just stop."

Brooke begins to walk out of the bathroom, "If it were that easy, I would've stopped a long time ago."

"Really? I doubt that."

"You think I like this life? There are three and only three words to describe me. Slut. Alcoholic. Bulimic. And you think I like that?"

"I don't think you're making an effort to change it."

"I am, Rachel. I am. How often do you see me drink anymore? And you want to know the truth? I haven't had sex in over a month. I am trying to change it."

"Good. Now you just need to stop bingeing and purging."

"I am fucking trying!"  
"No, you're not. If you feel like you need to throw up, tell me. We'll watch a movie or go out. If I'm not home, call Haley. You just need a distraction."

"Okay. Okay. So, let's go out. I didn't get everything up. Let's go before I sneak back in here."

Both girls smile and leave the bathroom.

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"How did you stop?" Brooke asks Rachel as they sit in a booth at Karen's Café.

Rachel takes a sip of her coffee and looks Brooke in the eye, "It took time. A good amount of therapy. A little liposuction."

Brooke laughs, "I'll get lipo!"

"No. I was fat. You are not."

"Right. How many times have you called me fat?"

"I was just trying to piss you off."

"Sure."

"You just have to work at it. You'll get better. You'll relapse. You'll get better again. Keep going to therapy. And you know I'll do everything to help."

"Oh, I know you will", jokes Brooke.

Lucas enters the café and walks up to where Brooke and Rachel are sitting.

"Mind if I sit?" he asks.

Brooke nods, "Go ahead."

Rachel begins to stand up, "I'm going to go take a walk. I'll be back."

"Uh, bye…" Brooke says, confused.

Rachel leaves and Lucas turns to face Brooke who is still looking at the door.

"What's up with her?" he asks.

Brooke shrugs, "She's crazy."

"Is everything okay with you?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?!"

"If everyone keeps asking you that then there must be something wrong."

"Or everyone is imagining things."

"I doubt it. I saw you walk into Mr. Pontone's office today."

"Are you stalking me, Lucas?" Brooke asks as she puts her hands palm down on the table.

Lucas' eyes quickly go to Brooke's right hand, "What the hell happened to your hand?"

"What?"

"It looks like a dog chewed on your hand."

Brooke looks at the bitemarks and scabs on her hand, "It's called Russell's Sign."

"And what is that?"

"They're bitemarks", Brooke says as she sighs.

Lucas squints his eyes as if he's confused, "Whose bitemarks?"

Brooke becomes agitated, "I've gotta go find Rachel", she grabs her bag and coffee and heads to the door.

"Brooke!" Lucas calls after her as he runs out of the café, "Brooke, stop", Lucas reaches the brunette and she turns around, revealing tears streaming down her face.

"This is really hard for me, Lucas."

"What's going on?"

"The bitemarks are mine."

"You bite your hand?"

Brooke smiles awkwardly, "It's kind of hard not to when your hand is down your throat."

Lucas still looks confused.

Brooke laughs at his slowness, "I'm bulimic, Lucas."

"Are you serious?!"

"As a heart attack."

"Shit. That's bad, right?"

"Yes, it's pretty bad."

"How long as this been going on?"

"Four years."

"Shit…"

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Bad ending, I know. But I'm tapped out. Please review!!


	8. Leave the Light On

**Author's Note**: I'm so, so, so sorry that I haven't updated this story until now. I got carried away with the semester, and then writing two additional stories ("Dimples, Green Eyes, and Ice Cream" and the newly completed, "Rain"). This chapter is going to be fairly short, but I wanted to get it out there for you guys to enjoy.

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"Lucas, you can't tell _anyone_", Brooke insists.

"Oh, no. I would never do that."

"Okay…I'm going to go find Rachel."

"Can I come?"

"Don't you want to hang out with your girlfriend?"

"Not right now. I want to hang out with you. We're friends, aren't we?"

Brooke smiles bashfully, "Yes, we are…"

"So, Rachel knows about this? That's what she came up to me at practice for?" Lucas asks as they begin walking.

"Yeah", Brooke nods, "She's like, super friend. I can't get her off my back."

"It's a far cry from the Rachel we met last year."

"I know!"

"You guys _hated_ each other."

"I know. We've both matured a lot. She's practically my best friend, as scary as that is to say."

"Well, good. You need people on your side."

"Speak of the devil", Brooke says as she spots Rachel walking towards them.

"Hey!" Rachel calls back.

"I guess I'll go now", Lucas says.

"You don't have to leave on my account", the red head insists.

"No, it's not about you. I'm supposed to help my mom at the café."

"Alright, see you later," says Brooke.

"Bye", Rachel waves.

"See you at school. Call me if you need anything, Brooke."

"I will, thanks."

"Bye", Lucas turns around and walks back towards the café.

Rachel links arms with Brooke and they walk towards Rachel's SUV, parked around the block, "So, you told him?"

Brooke puts her right hand up, "He saw the teeth marks."

"Yes", Rachel says as she grabs Brooke's hand to get a closer look, "that's a lot of bite marks."

"Well, when you bite down on your hand repeatedly twice a day, this is bound to happen."

"But, still. Ouch."

"It doesn't hurt", Brooke pauses, "And I had no idea it was so obvious."

Rachel turns to face Brooke, "The marks will fade. And you can't really see them unless you're looking for them."

"Lucas saw them", Brooke shrugs.

Rachel shrugs in response, "Let's face it: Lucas is weird."

"I already knew that, Rach. You'd have to be weird to fall in love with Peyton."

"Ouch! She used to be your best friend."

"Used to being the key words. The skinny bitch stole my boyfriend."

"And your previous ten years of friendship mean nothing?"

"Frankly, yes. I don't need to hear this from you. We're young, friendships end. That's just how life works."

"Alright", Rachel and Brooke get into Rachel's SUV, "I always got a bad vibe from that girl", Rachel admits.

"I knew we were friends for a reason", Brooke laughs.

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The girl's bathroom on the second floor of Tree Hill High School was empty of students, except one popular brunette. That brunette, Brooke Davis, stands in front of a mirror, staring intently at her reflection. She takes a deep breath and smiles, pleased with herself that she is standing in an empty bathroom and hasn't made herself throw up.

Suddenly, the sink begins to get closer and the floor seems way closer than it should be. Brooke doesn't have time to react before she falls into herself and crumbles onto the hard tile floor. Luckily, Brooke does not hit her head directly, but she is still unconscious.

Though class in session, one curly haired blonde enters this same bathroom and stands shocked at the scene in front of her. Peyton runs to her ex-best friend on the floor.

"Brooke!" Peyton shakes the brunette lightly, trying to wake her up.

Brooke's eyes dart open, but react harshly to the bright lights, "Oww…", she scoots to lean her back against the wall, "Did I die and go to hell?" Brooke asks snidely to the blonde.

Peyton ignores the remark and asks seriously, "What the hell happened to you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about", Brooke says, playing dumb.

"Brooke, stop acting like an idiot. You passed out!"

"For a fake blonde, you sure catch on slow."

"Still not funny. Why'd you pass out?"

"No idea", Brooke shrugs, "I'm probably just a little dehydrated. Maybe I'm coming down with the flu."

"Sure…" Peyton responds suspiciously, "Do you need to see the nurse?"

"No", Brooke answers quickly and angrily.

"Is something going on that you're not telling me?" Peyton asks.

"Gee, I wonder", Brooke responds sarcastically as she stands up to look at her reflection. She grimaces.

"My G-d, Brooke. Can't I worry about my best friend?"

"Number one- no, you can't worry about me. Number two- we haven't been best friends in a _long_ time", Brooke spits out as she saunters out of the bathroom, leaving Peyton there, her mouth wide open in disbelief.


End file.
